When You Can’t Sleep

So when it’s midnight and you should either be studying or sleeping, do neither.
Update your blog with something old and random instead. Like me.

I make good decisions, yes.

~

These days I have nightmares about shadows.
Not about shadows that linger in corners, or hide themselves in dark crevices.
Not about shadows that seep through cracks and churn poison into the air of the room.
Not those, no.
But I wish I did.
Because they’re the sort of nightmares that I’m free to wake up from, screaming.
The shadows I dream about live and breathe and talk and sleep and occasionally look at me.
They sit next to me. They don’t try to hide in dark crevices, and they don’t disappear when I pull back each and every curtain of the house.
These days I wake up with a stifled scream caught in my throat.
You see, I realized that I stopped having nightmares years ago, after that bottle of dull white pills.
And I can no longer tell myself that it was just a bad dream.

~

These days I worry I’ll never be able to write something new.
Ah, new nightmare.

Love,
Until We Meet Again

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s